Inside my mind
by RubyBelle
Summary: He’s here. That girl’s following me, I swear. He’s so hot. She’s kinda cute, though. He's looking at me! Oh crap, did I just say “hi”? GaaSaku, in their minds! A little OOC on Gaara’s part. T for language.[Oneshot] R&R plz!


I like how this came out—How it alternates between Sakura and Gaara, and how they only think. It's fun. XD

* * *

_Isn't it amazing? I was in love with Sasuke, but…Ever since that new guy came, he's been on my mind constantly…_

"Sakura-a-aaa!!"

I slammed my diary shut. "Naruto? What do you want?"

"C'mon! Let's go! We have to train!"

Stupid Naruto. He'd been trying to make me train with him for the past few days, and never actually won the fight. "I'm not going down!"

Sure enough, the spiky haired blonde was right below it, calling for me. The orange from his jacket reflected the sun's rays.

"Let's go!" He shouted.

"No way! Find someone else to train with!"

Wait—did Naruto just flip me off? That bastard!

I stomped down the steps and tore open the front door. I grabbed his hand.

"_Naruto_!"

"Let's go!" He smiled, apparently unaware of my hand threatening to crush his. I kicked his shin.

"_Piss off,_ Naruto!" I slammed the door shut, and locked it. I ran upstairs, and shut my window. I grabbed my diary, and sat down at the other corner of the room.

_Stupid Naruto thinks I like him. Or, something like that. Will I ever see him again? Wonder where his hotel is…Or will his master let me see him? Will he be training, and be too busy to see me? I hope not…_

XOXOX 

I opened the only window from my room. The cool Kohona breeze played with my fiery red hair—something that I despised. Why couldn't Kohona be more like Suna? At least at Suna, there was no wind to mess up your hair, or bother the back of your neck. And the _temperature_. It was way to cold here. Why the hell did Baki want me to come? Wait, that's right.

"G-gaara?" 

I scowled. I know they're supposed to watch me, but couldn't I have a minute to myself? I haven't seen the sun for a while—they never let me out.

"Gaara, are you there?"

I ignored the timid voice. Obviously, it was dinner, or at least, Baki had brought something to eat., and my despicable sister of mine wanted me to eat. Hmph. If I haven't eaten for the last 2 days, why would I want to eat now? Seriously, Temari. Be sane.

I heard footsteps retreating. Good. I had scared her off. Now, to move on to that girl…Yes, that girl that kept eyeing me. What was I going to do with her? She was becoming bothersome—annoying. I do hope she'll stop. Soon.

Or not. It's kinda refreshing to see a fan. She'll die anyway.

Poor girl.

XOXOX 

_I stopped by 3 hotels today. All of them said that they weren't holding any Sand nin. Sadly. Couldn't he find one close to home? So I could adore his face and that playful red hair every single day?_

I shut the book, and sighed.

2 days. A record. I hadn't seen or heard about him for 2 days. Last time I saw him, he was looking out a window. I was running errands for mom, so I didn't get the hotel name. Sadly. Why was he doing this? Tormenting me? Ruining my life, and torturing me by letting me catch glimpses, then never letting me see him again? Was it my hair? Was it too pink? Or my eyes? No, it had to be my oversize forehead.

Funny how that never really bothered me when I was with Sasuke. But, whenever I think about him, it becomes me life. I become overly self-conscious. Why? Is this true love? Or was Sasuke love?

Please, oh, please. Don't torment me anymore. I beg you. I plead you. I'm on my knees, crying to you.

Let me see you. Actually _see_ you.

XOXOX 

An hour. That's how much freedom I'm getting. An hour of freedom. An hour to either sit at the window, or actually go out. An hour to sit in my room, and wallow in self-pity, or to go out and see sites.

An hour. Just 60 minutes.

How the hell could they do this? Baki was told to take care of me. This_ isn't_ taking care of me.

Well, I never really told anyone—not that anyone would care—but, I really do enjoy sightseeing. I enjoy walking out in the open, and feeling that despicable breeze. Despicable, but enjoyable. I _want_ to go out. To go out and feel free. Er. I want to go see that mountain where all of the Hokage's faces are carved in. I want to see it. I want to explore the city, get used to it. Besides, we'll just destroy it later, so why not have fun now?

But an _hour_. That's not fun.

I decide to walk out. Leave. Leave behind all the darkness, and my gourd. Maybe open my eyes. Maybe see something new. Maybe have fun.

Just for an hour.

XOXOX 

_I'm going out. I'm gonna go see the Hokage mountain. I didn't make it into the 3rd round, so why bother? It might be fun. I might forget him. Or not. I hope so. Why can't he stop tormenting my dreams? My thoughts?_

I'm running down the streets, the wind blowing my hair everywhere. The breeze feels good. Wonder if he's enjoying it…

No! Don't think about him! Today is fun, and fun only. Thinking about him, and having my heart torn to bits is NOT fun. Not fun at all.

There it is. Standing tall and proud. All of the faces are looking down at me. Like, I'm worthless, but I can still do something.

Worthlessly worthful. Or, something like that.

I smile and let the wind mess up my hair. It flails everywhere. The wind feels good. It blows underneath my chin, and right below my ears, and behind them. It's chilling—not cold, but enough for a nice feeling. I close my eyes, and hope that no one thinks that I'm retarded for standing in the middle of the streets doing nothing except feeling the wind.

Jeez, that even sounds retarded.

XOXOX 

There it is. The main destination. The Hokage building. It feels good, having freedom. Even if it's just for…45 more minutes.

It's enough time.

I'm walking down the streets, hoping that no Kohona Genin see me. If they do, then I'm fucked. No gourd—that would be a huge giveaway to everyone. So, I'm on my own. Shukaku couldn't help me then. No sand, no power. Nice going, idiot.

Wait, did I just call myself an idiot? That's new. Completely. It's refreshing, actually. Wow, I'm twisted. Well, who wouldn't be twisted if your dad fucked up your childhood on a wide range of psychological levels, and you crave for blood?

Not many.

So, I'm average?

Not really.

I'm talking to myself! No, not talking—I'm having _conversations_ with myself.

Gee, thanks Dad.

I walk up the thousands of steps to the top of the mountain. New thing I like about Suna that I find absolutely stupid in Kohona—Why do they need so many steps? In Suna, it's 5 steps, and you're everywhere. A tight-nit place. Close. Close enough so that a few steps can get you from a ramen place to a hotel. Here, a few steps gets you to from a ramen place to a…ramen place. Wow. Shocking.

I'm walking up these steps, and I see a girl. She's standing still, a wide grin plastered on her face. Her pink hair flaps everywhere—wait. There's something wrong with that.

_Pink hair?!_

OK, so having blood-red hair isn't so weird, if you have pink-haired girls.

Not so refreshing. Hmph. Thought I was unique.

Great, now I'm trying to joke with myself. Have I completely lost it?

No, not really.

Thanks.

No problem.

XOXOX 

I open my eyes after what seems to be 5 minutes. The wind finally died down. I feel calm. He's not in my mind.

Crap, Now he is.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!! Great. now I hope no one thinks I'm retarded for hitting myself in the middle of the street. Great. Just great.

So, I run up the stairs. If someone did find me mentally ill, and called the police, at least I wouldn't be where I normally was. I mean, retarded people wouldn't do that right? Or wrong? Agh!

I'm at the top now. It's fun to run up those steps. Really fun. I could do it again. It's fun to run up 2 at a time, and run down 4 at a time., try and challenge myself. Really fun.

No! Stop! Look at the mountain, and pretend you care! No one will think you're retarded for that! Right?

Funny how my calm composure went to crap so quickly because of him. Will I see him today?

I hope not. I'm acting especially retarded today.

XOXOX 

Stupid steps. Stupid Kohona. Stupid wideness. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

What step is this? 1,583,047,834, or what? I'm killing myself. At least the top is near.

Wait—what the hell? How the hell did that pink-haired girl get up there so fast? Is there an elevator around here or something? Jeez, Kohona is breeding some weird, fast, mutated hair girls around here.

Dear Lord. Is she looking at me? Crap. Crap, crap, crap.

She reminds me of someone—Aw, crap again.

She's that girl!

XOXOX 

I'm stuttering. I can't form a word. What is _he_ doing here? Why? When? AAAAAAA!!!! Did he _see_ me earlier? No!

Is my face turning pink? Red? Scarlet? AAA! It's every girl's worst nightmare!

XOXOX 

You're staring, Gaara. Stop.

Well, so-rry.

Whatever.

Fine.

Hmph.

"You…You're…" 

Wait—am I _talking_? Sounds like a choked groan mixed with a sigh. God, do I sound like that? Sure hope not.

Though, it _would_ explain why girls avoid me everywhere I go.

XOXOX 

"My—my name's Sakura."

Nice. Whisper it. Idiot.

"Haruno Sakura."

He's nodding! Woo!!! We're communicating!

Wait.

We're communicating.

Fuck.

XOXOX 

Sakura? That's her name? And what do I say?

_Oh, hi. My name's Gaara, but some people call me Sabaku no Gaara. If you didn't notice already, I look like I wear too much eyeliner. Just ignore that. Oh, and I have a vicious bloodthirsty demon living inside of me that could cause me to kill you at any second and enjoy seeing your blood splatter against everything. Anyway, I do hope we can be friends._

Yeah right. Even _I _know that's the wrong thing to say to a girl.

Or _anyone_, for that matter.

XOXOX

"Who are you? Aren't you in the…"

Shut up, Sakura! Say Chuunin Exams, and he'll think that you only know him because he's in that big mess, and that you never noticed him otherwise. Then, he'll always say something like, "She never cared."

"Chuunin Exam? So?"

Wow. Shocker.

"I—I just…You look familiar." Great. Now I'm blushing.

Oh, crap! He's not looking away! Hurry—say something, quick!

"So, how do you like Kohona?"

_Doh_.

XOXOX 

Kohona? Do I like Kohona? Hell, yes! It's a nice quaint place, everyone knows almost everyone. Everyone's friends, _and it has clouds_.

"Eh."

Nice going, idiot. Eh. Crap. Just look away—now! 

"What are you doing here?"

Huh? Did she just talk to me? Yes! Wait—why am I cheering?

Let's look over some sad facts:

I've never talked to a girl outside my family for so long.

Every girl I know is scared of me.

I'm a weird freak.

Does any of this spell _dating candidate_ to you?

No.

Thought so.

XOXOX 

Why is he just standing there? Does he want to talk to me? Or am I so weird that he just wants to run away? AAA!!! Talk to meeeee!!!

"What are you doing here?"

Did I sound to mean?

"Can't I walk around? Or am I so weird that I need someone watching over me 24/7?"

Fuck. It did sound mean. Why else would he treat me like that?!

"N-no! I meant—shouldn't you be training? Or, or…I don't—"

"Whatever. It's fine."

My heart is pounding like f crazy!!! Why couldn't he not be mad at me? The boy I adore, the boy I've been searching for since forever?

_Why_?!

XOXOX

Fuck. Did I sound mean?

Yes. Very much so.

You're no help.

I try my best.

"No, I—"

That's right. Just shake your head. Hopefully, she won't want to run away like every other girl.

Why the hell am I thinking about girls so much? Stupid puberty. I'm a Jinchuuriki, can't I be an exception?

"Look, I don't have much time left."

25 minutes—down the drain.

XOXOX

Don't have much time? For what?

"What? Why?" Ok, so right now, I'm pleading.

"…Let's just say I have to be 'home' in 35 minutes."

Ok, now nod! Nod, dammit!

"So, why are you here? To feel the fresh air?"

Doh! "Feel"?! God, I hope he doesn't think I'm weird for that.

XOXOX 

Funny. That's exactly why I'm out.

"…So what?" Face heating up…Dignity dropping… "Why are you here?"

So, I'm not the only blusher, huh?

Wait—I can blush?

Woah.

That's new.

"I…I wanted to get something off of my mind."

XOXOX 

Yes, but sadly, he's on my mind right now. And in front of me.

What the hell am I doing? I should be talking to him! Why can't I act like I do when I'm around Sasuke? Jeez…

"…Gaara?"

That _is_ your name, right? Or, is that just an alias? 

An alias to keep away from me?

XOXOX

"Huh?"

Huh. Nice.

"You…You're only staying here for the Chuunin Exams, right?"

No. I'm also gonna stay here for a few more days for the invasion of Kohona. Why do you ask?

"Why?"

Great. Now she's looking at her feet. Is my face _that_ repulsive?

"I…I was wondering if you would…would—"

Would what?

XOXOX

Would…would. Would what?! Say it!

"_Ifyouwouldliketogooutwithme_?"

Nice. Scream it. And say it really, really fast so that he can't understand.

And yet, please say yes! Say yes! Yes! YES!!!

XOXOX 

Wait—what, huh? I'm gonna try and attempt to translate that.

Holy hell. I think she just asked me out.

What the f?! Is this girl _demented_?! Did she eat a lot of paint chips as a child, or what?! Why would she want to ask me—out of all people-out?!

Ok, Temari, 'fess up. Did you pay her? Is this why you gave me an hour off?

"I—I…"

Me. Speechless. _Blushing_ and speechless.

It's quite a sight, huh?

XOXOX 

He's not saying anything. Why won't he say anything?! Why?!

Ok, Sakura. Calm down. Breathe…

Now blush like mad? No!

Jeez, does he even _know_ what kind of power he has over me? The power to immobilize me with a simple look? No, I can't say anything. Just keep looking at the ground, praying he'll say yes. Just keep looking at the ground. And—what the hell?

_Crying_?!

XOXOX 

O-K, my life just got awkward. Not as if it wasn't awkward before, that is. And horrifying.

Now, this is when I wish my older brother wasn't such a fatass who's never had a girl outside the family look at him. Then, maybe, he could've helped me with girls.

Or just shirked away. I don't know which.

Wait—_is that tears_? She's _crying_?! Crap! If Temari sees this, I'm screwed!

Crap, fuck, shit, damn, hell.

Ok, Gaara. Just talk to the girl. Say no, and explain why.

Oh, yeah. Like you're gonna explain that you want her blood.

Shut up.

No, you.

"I—Uh—I…I…"

That's not explaining it.

Didn't I tell you to shut up?

Whatever.

XOXOX 

Great. Like he'll ever go out with me _now_.

Huh? Is he looking up? No! Don't! Not when I look like this!

But—Yes or no?

"S-Sakura?"

XOXOX 

My dad has no idea what he's done to me.

He's doomed me to a life with no girls.

Jeez. If a evil Kazekage who obsessed with killing his wife, and ruin his son's life for nothing can get ass, why can't I?

Idiot. You've explained that to yourself enough times now.

I told you to shut up.

And I didn't listen.

Apparently.

Hmph.

Hmph.

"Sakura…Why?"

Slowly, slowly…Don't crush her heart now.

Well, it's crushed already.

Leave me alone, dammit!

Nheeeh.

"Why? Why do I love you? Is that it?"

XOXOX

He doesn't know why I love him? Does this guy _own_ a mirror?!

Just look at you! Isn't that enough! I don't even _know_ you and I'm madly in love. Even more so than when I was with Sasuke!

"I—I guess so…If you can even call this love."

He's looking at his feet now. Wait—is he blushing? Is he _sad_?!

That's more reason as to why I love him. Sasuke would _never_ do that.

"I—I love you for more reasons than you would think! I know that you think poorly of yourself! I know that you think that no one will love you, and that you'll be loveless, and yet…Here I am."

XOXOX 

She's touching me.

She's touching me.

She's holding my shoulder.

_She's touching me._

And she just confessed her love for me.

This just _screams_ romance/horror movie gone wrong.

I'm the horror, she's the romance.

You know, girls are warm.

XOXOX

"So…is that why you love me?"

He's whispering. KYAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

I'm living a romance!! Wait till Ino hears this! YAAAAY!!!

"Yes."

My voice is smothered with fake calmness. God, I'm so excited! I could just die!!!!!!

AAAAA!!!!

XOXOX 

Wow.

Shocking.

Amazing.

"Do you…truly love me? Or…are you just looking at my skin? You do know that I have a…a _monster_ inside of me? I…I'm afraid that I might…that you might not love me the way you do now when you find out—"

I can't go on any further. Partly because I can't bring myself to say it. Partly because I'm afraid to ruin my only romance.

But mostly because she's kissing me.

Wait—

_She's kissing me!!!_

XOXOX 

What got over me? What just happened? What's _happening_?!

I'm. Kissing. Gaara.

Oh.

My.

God.

And he's good at it too!

XOXOX 

Why fight it? Why bother? This is probably gonna be my only kiss, so lets just make the best of it.

I'm giving up. I'm giving in. I'm letting her kiss me. And most importantly of all—

_I'm _kissing _her_.

And she's not resisting!! Yes!!!

XOXOX

Why hello there. How was your day? Fine? Good. Oh, what happened to me today? Nothing much. I pissed off Naruto, went to the Hokage mountain and made out with Gaara. What was that last part? Making out with Gaara. Why do you ask?

_YES_!!! My dream is finally fulfilled!!!

Kill me now, God. I'm ready.

No, wait! Don't! I take that back!

I need more time with Gaara first. _Then_, you can take me.

XOXOX 

OK, so now I'm happy.

Well, mostly.

I have to get home in 15 minutes, Sakura'll probably despise me after I destroy her country, and I still have Shukaku.

Ah, what the hell. Who cares?

Right now, I'll just be Gaara. Not Gaara the Jinchuuriki. Not Sabaku no Gaara. Not Gaara the Kazekage's son. Just Gaara.

And, I'm pretty happy just like this.

Good for you.

Fuck off.

* * *

Hahahaha!!! Like it?

I know, I know—Gaara's not like that! Well, I warned that there'd be OOC!

I needed Gaara to have a "second mind" in him, because of comical purposes, and because I'm so weird. –eats butterfly-

Sorry about it being so long! Hope everyone likes it!


End file.
